Separation Anxiety – Why It Occurs And How To Stop It
If you have children, you may have already experienced separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a common problem for children between the ages of 8 months and 1 year. Separation anxiety is characterized by a child starting to cry or even becoming hysterical when their parent leaves them with someone else.
Children with this problem become very tearful and overly upset, sometimes to the point of hysteria, when their parents leave them with another caregiver. When a child has separation anxiety, it can be a random individual they don’t want to leave, or it could be a specific person that they never want to lose sight of.
Separation anxiety can be just as upsetting and frustrating to parents as it is to the child. Nothing can be more disconcerting and exhausting than having to be constantly within sight of your child, or risk him becoming distraught should you leave him for any period of time.
Some children will often need more than just the presence of the chosen caregiver in the room to settle down. They will need physical contact such as being constantly held or in the care giver’s lap. Whilst physical contact is essential for the emotional development of a child, a child with separation anxiety will crave this contact too much. It will get to the stage where it is impossible to get anything done around the house which can lead to other problems. Furthermore, separation anxiety will make leaving the child with someone else before going to work or simply to run some errands a daily struggle.
Parents dealing with separation anxiety may be comforted by the knowledge that this a normal stage of development for children. Hence, separation anxiety is not caused by parents emotionally smothering a child or neglecting their emotional needs. Rather, it is simply a typical stage experienced by many children.
Set aside a defined period of time every day to work on your child’s separation anxiety, for example right after dinner, and let your child know that you are leaving, but will return shortly. Then follow through. Go outside and walk a few blocks or just go somewhere where you can’t be seen from the window. Wait five minutes before re-entering the house, and then make your presence known. Ignore any tantrum that probably began before you ever left. Take a seat and relax, waiting for your child to come to you. When she does, act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened and continue as normal. If you repeat this consistently, your child will become reassured that you will return, and will stop being so nervous when you leave, eventually reducing the separation anxiety.
You can help your child better deal with separation anxiety by slightly, but consistently distancing yourself more frequently. If your child throws a tantrum every morning before work, try applying a regular routine and sticking to it, as opposed to battling against your child’s fear.